Ruby’s - story
Ruby took part in Dame Kelly Holmes Trust’s one to one mentoring programme at Alder Hey Children’s Hospital, where he has been treated for a number of health challenges over the years. The programme connects young people who are in- or out-patients with an athlete mentor with shared interests or experiences, to support their recovery, encourage physical activity and increase mental wellbeing. Ruby was connected with former British Champion and Commonwealth bronze medal winning Taekwondoin, Henry Cookey, whose support has helped him get back on track with some exciting sporting opportunities.
We caught up with Ruby and his mum Samantha to talk about his experience:
Ruby has been in and out of Alder Hey Children’s hospital several times throughout his young life. In the last few years he has been admitted due to health issues such as asthma and suffering with stomach migraines. Just recently Ruby was admitted to hospital with a badly cut arm which happened in an accident at school, along with breaking his arm in a sporting PE lesson.
Ruby has suffered a lot of bullying in several schools over the years, which has been hard for him to comprehend. Having endured the bullying from others, this has caused Ruby to become withdrawn into himself and as a result he started to get support and help from the Child and Adolescents Mental Health Services (CAMHS) at Alder Hey Children’s Hospital.
RUBy
“The bullying really hurt me and made me feel sad. Particularly at my new school as some of the students doing the bullying knew what had happened to me at my previous school. I was confused as I really did not understand why this was happening to me again. It was not as if I had made friends with the wrong group, I hardly knew anyone at school when this bullying started happening again.
When I met my athlete mentor Henry Cookey for the first time, I was being treated for respiratory issues linked to my asthma at Alder Hey. I had been treated for asthma for several years but due to the stress of the bullying and the situation at school, my breathing issues had got worse, and I’d also lost quite a bit of weight, these were symptoms that I had experienced previously before, when I had been bullied in the past”
Ruby’s Mum Samantha:
“The COVID lockdown had been a bit of a break from everything, as Ruby could be at home along with being home schooled away from the bullying and any trouble he was having. Not long after starting the new school Ruby started having stomach issues and the respiratory team looking into the asthma asked if anything else was going on in his life, and that’s when they were made aware of Ruby being newly involved with CAMHS at this stage, due to the bullying issues continuing.
At this point he wasn’t doing his art anymore, he didn’t take up a football trial he’d been offered and his confidence was really going downhill. Soon after this we were told about the Dame Kelly Holmes Trust and that’s when things started to turn around.”
Henry Cookey – Ruby’s athlete mentor
Ruby is a really great lad with so much potential who had been through a long line of troubles as a victim of bullying and discrimination, which left him closed off and with little hope for the future.
At the start of our first session he was as you'd expect of a teenager, closed off and not massively forthcoming, but once I assured him that I'm not a teacher, I'm not with the police and he can just talk to me and tell me whatever he wants, he relaxed. He then opened right up and went on to tell me absolutely everything, talking for nearly two hours! After that he said he felt much better.
He is now so much more positive and believes the things that he's been through don't have to define him and hold him back.
I know he has a bright future ahead of him.
Ruby
“I was happy and excited when I heard that I was going to be working with an athlete. I really liked that I could pick who I wanted to work with and after seeing Henry’s video, I knew I wanted to work with him. I liked that he did taekwondo, but I also just knew that even though I had not met him, I could tell he was a nice guy and I’d be able to open up to him.
It was great working with Henry, it was really something to look forward to after school. I really felt like I could talk to him about anything, and he understood what I was going through and feeling. It was great to have someone who would listen to me – he never interrupted - but also give me advice on how to deal with things.
Henry got me to do little physical challenges after each session, like doing football kick ups and football drills in the garden to start getting back into my football. He got me to write down how I was feeling, along with positive words and how many of those I could connect with or relate to in that week, words such as “Strong” and “Be positive” then remembering to practice that at school. Even though there were still negative comments from others at school, I did think of these words and did my best to ignore them and just get on and focus on the positives in the school day.
I had previously been offered a football trial at Everton Football Club, but due to what I was experiencing at my previous school I decided not to take up the offer as I was not feeling good. Now after working with Henry, I am feeling much more positive so we’ve been in touch with them again.
It’s been two months since I had the last session with Henry and things have been really good. It has made me more positive and think more about things. I’m starting to do more things now, and taking any opportunities that come my way, and I’m not going to stop doing them because bad things have happened to me. Working with Henry has helped me focus on myself and my family more and block out or ignore some of the people at school. One of the things I am trying to do more is speak to people more about how I am feeling rather than bottle things up. Henry also taught me to breathe properly and introduced me to meditation, so I do that now and then when I start to feel stressed about things. I feel much happier now, than I did a few months ago before I met Henry.”
SAMANTHA
“Meeting Henry has been a hugely positive experience for Ruby. Just to see him looking forward to something for a change was great and to be able to speak to someone openly and have that trust in Henry was really important for him. As a result, he’s started to become more positive, and he now knows that it’s good to talk about things that are bothering him. I can see the confidence coming back slowly.
“To see your son, go from being closed off and not trusting anyone, to being able to speak openly to someone and know he’s not being judged has been amazing. ”
It has been one of the most positive things we have done for Ruby. I think it’s the connection with sport that really helped, getting him to do activities during the sessions as well was great. It was just nice to see him connect with someone and I know it’s still benefitting him now, a few months after.”
Thanks to funding from the Peter Sowerby Digital Breakthrough Fund, and in partnership with Alder Hey Children’s Charity and Alder Hey Children’s Hospital, the Trust is supporting 150 in and outpatients at Alder Hey Children’s Hospital in their recovery. Our athlete mentors are helping these young people become more physically active and increase their wellbeing, through the Ready, Steady, Go programme.